Big Machine

June 16, 2017

Big Machine—the record label of superstar singers Taylor Swift and Reba McEntire—is coming out with a vodka. Tenn South Distillery will help produce the spirit which will carry the tagline “Pour It On…Turn It Up…Lean In…Or Lean Back…And Indulge.” The vodka is said to derive its superior quality thanks in part to “pure Tennessee limestone water.” Ladies, ladies. Vodka? Really? Better things are made in limestone.

Which product below has just been invented?

A. Chardonnay Greek Yogurt

B. Cheese M & Ms

C. Pink Chocolate

D. Cabernet IPA (Beer)

C.

Move over dark, milk and white, a fourth type of chocolate has arrived–pink. The rosy hued chocolate is the invention of Swiss chocolate manufacturer Barry Callebaut who believe the “berry fruitiness and luscious smoothness” may appeal to “hedonistic millennials.” The product, which Callebaut calls “ruby chocolate,” is made from Ruby Cacao beans which grow in Ecuador, Brazil and the Ivory Coast. (No red food coloring or berry flavoring is added). As far as we know, Cabernet IPA and Chardonnay Yogurt are still waiting to be created, as are Cheese M & Ms—although Cheesecake M & Ms have already made their debut. You can buy them on Amazon.

“The discovery of a wine is a greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.”

—Benjamin Franklin
American statesman (1706-1790)

Big Machine

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